WOW Classic: The Inevitable Run-in (1-20)

 For 16 years I've managed the knawing inevitability that I'd end up taking an all-consuming holiday to Azeroth, well over the last month, I've finally caved. Personally, I was curious to see what I would've experienced as a naive pre-teen all them years ago so World of Warcraft Classic was the obvious choice. So I paid the subscription and dived into an experience most gamers first paid witness to back in 2004. 

With some experience of Guild Wars 2 under my belt, the general gist and gameplay loop of MMO's is not new to me and I was ready to be guided around the biggest world in gaming, I felt confident going into WOW classic... ignorance really is bliss.  

 I decided to play dwarf hunter, partly because I live close to Scotland, but mainly because the only other race I liked was the female night elf but this just made me feel dirty. So I chose a stunted walking beard instead and loaded into Coldridge Valley, the dwarven starting zone.

Horrible Gnomes and Helpful Players

After a race-specific introduction showing the dwarves as a race of industrious scots that, just like in real life, love booze and are impervious to the cold. After this intro, I knew I'd made the right decision. As it turns out starting zones are very lonely places and I spent the first seven levels wandering the cold wastes alone shooting wolves and helping some horrific gnomes find their tools. 

It was lonely and freezing, but in WOW there are other lonely wanderers around you. It was at this point I met a fellow dwarf called, Cough*... Dysentery. It's no slant on him though, he's anything but shit at this game. He proceeds to help me reach level 10 and takes me to Ironforge where we take an awesome train to Stormwind to get professions, where I decide (I'm told) the life of an engineer coalminer is for me.

Good old Dysentery tells me to help him level in Goldshire for a while till he catches me up,  I do so happily; while he explains the game and how it works to me like a child learning to walk... slowly. 

I've barely played three hours and I'm already starting to see what draws people to WOW classic, I already feel the power of the community, the scale of the world and the pursuit of some sort of meaningful journey to level 60. 

Its already clear that If I'd played this at age 11, as the world obviously intended, I would be writing this from beyond the (man) cave. 

The Constant Haunting of Westfall

Our very one-sided partnership finally got on a level playing field my and online buddy told me where we should head next. Westfall. Its a hideously orange farmland filled with things that want to hurt your tiny dwarven frame and kill your new friends in front of you. 

We started questing in the cornfields and it didn't take long for me to experience the famed format for WOW classics "rewarding" quests. Find 15 bandanas on a small band of enemies that respawn slowly and rarely drop them, despite them all clearly wearing bandanas. 

This first proper questing session was fraught with mistakes and deaths, all because of me, my tiny brain and lack of understanding of how games work. I have a habit of blindly walking backwards while fighting and inviting all mobs around us to a party, a very non-fun party at that. This is where I started to get experience with another pillar of "Classic" gameplay the patented, bone-chilling, humbling experience; corpse walking.

After four hours of collecting discarded blood-soaked clothing and slaughtering wildlife, we wandered up a road to do the all-important quest chain for what would lead me to my first dungeon in World of Warcraft. We just had to find a teleporting NPC takes you all over Westfall on the most depressing merry-go-round... around. I died multiple times but finally (after 2 hours) I did finish it.

A Dungeon Dweller in WOW and Now IRL

My first dungeon run as is I'm told tradition took place in the early hours of the morning with my new online buddy. Only it wasn't a heroic band of misfits taking on a pirate king as it should have been. It consisted of me sitting back and waiting for my good old partner to clear the room using his hideously over-levelled main while I picked up the loot...  like the brave, cuckolded, glory stealing dwarf that my character is apparently. 

We, I mean he,  destroyed everything in the dungeon without losing a slither of health while I was almost mauled by a baby bat at one stage. I got some great loot though. 

It wasn't till the following evening that I'd run Deadmines properly. Good old Dys(entery) helped me to not make a fool of myself. Helpfully explaining the rolling mechanic and the ever confusing etiquette that goes along with it... apparently needing for everything's just not the "Classic" way. 

We strategically slew packs of mobs one after the other when after killing two guards I 'need' for a great sword and win, then I need for several gems,which i think is justified by me having an engineer profession but as it turns out this infuriated 'Dent' a warrior human who clearly was in need of his Bi-hourly Ritalin dosage.

His temper eased though when we handed him 'Smites Mighty Hammer' then immediately our slightly under-levelled party wipes entirely and is left two mobs from the main boss. Heartbroken and tired our great fellowship snapped as easy as soggy breadstick and I went to bed.

This run of Deadmines took me up to almost level 20, and to what I consider to be the conclusion to my opening hours of WOW classic. As I mentioned before, it's obvious what brings people back and why I'll continue to play this ancient, amazing, all-consuming game. Its the immense, connected world filled with lore, the allotted dopamine fix from levelling and most importantly the strangers that help you through it. It really is a game like no other and despite its quirks and evident aged design ill keep playing and keep writing these silly articles.

GO TRY IT !!!

My 7 favourite Hitman Levels

https://whatculture.com/gaming/7-best-missions-in-the-hitman-franchise

A Recommendation: CARRION

Every kid grew up dreading a bump in the night; whether from Giant spiders, krakens, zombies, vampires or skeletons. However, the unknown is something to fear more, and monsters from there are twice as bad. I'm talking of course about aliens. In popular culture, there are stacks of movies, games and novels highlighting the power of the otherworldly; showing how horrific it could be to meet one. 

I remember the first time an alien scared me was in John Carpenter's The Thing (1982); it was a terrifying film. The incredible design and paranoia-inducing behaviour of the alien were frightening to me. I've always been surprised that many games were made off the back of Ridley Scott's Alien but not The Thing. Consequently, when I saw CARRION's gameplay and its stylised cartoon trailer; I couldn't wait to play it.

It promised to be a perfect homage to the film, just as brutal, gory and manically enjoyable to run through. The previews showed a game that wanted to delight the player; simply by highlighting how fun being a horrifying alien might be. Apparently, it'd be very fun. 

Short and (Very Not) Sweet

The game is a sidescrolling 2D action puzzler at heart, however, the main draw of it is the alien itself, and how dangerous you are. It's sadistic fun at its finest. The design of the creature is phenomenal with how it looks/moves being both brutal and empowering. Capable of moving eerily quickly; it'll outrun absolutely anything else. To top it off its apparently so grotesque that nearly every NPC, within an entire screens radius, lets out a petrified (well-acted) scream as you eat them.

As you progress you'll gain new abilities that expand your options for traversal and toying with the humans around the facility. Throughout your playthrough, you'll be laughing as frightened lab technicians run for their lives. As you get stronger by hurling doors through the air, stabbing people, cutting them in half, pulling them through grates, drowning them in water or possessing them before bursting out of their chest. You'll hope it never ends. 

It's a very short game though with some players beating it in 5-6 hours. Important to note is that its price is £16.99 which makes it still worth a buy despite the short run time.

Movie Mimicry

The game emulates the atmosphere of survival horror films and games by incorporating a gritty, depressing aesthetic and mostly ambient music; music that channels Dead Space heavily. The way that blood splatters everywhere, as you fight and move around, is a great touch too making it easy to see your path of destruction.

As you become more of a bloodthirsty killing machine you'll be able to infect humans and take control of them just like in The Thing (1982). It's endlessly satisfying and creepy to take a room of unsuspecting guards out while doing this.

The story in the game is basic but serviceable. Mostly it's told through levels where you play as a human, and these offer a nice change of pace to break up the manic main quest. They tell the tale of how the monster came about and the origins of the facility you find yourself in. the story does what it needs too... justifies the carnage. 

The game is ultimately about feeling like your a stalking, merciless killing machine from the movies and it nails this. It could use a map though. 

Conclusion

In this short, brutal and very fun alien simulator, it pays to take your time. Take out people one by one and analyse the environments at your disposal. You'll learn to be an adaptive and sneaky monster meaning the short runtime will dissipate so quickly you'll be forced to play through it another three times in one day. 

CARRION is available on Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One and PC.

GO BUY IT !!!

My article on the original Splinter Cell trilogy is live. Hope you like it !

https://whatculture.com/gaming/8-things-we-dearly-miss-about-the-original-splinter-cell-trilogy?page=8

A Recommendation: Sea Of Thieves

Pirates have always been something Ive found to be inherently fascinating. Ever since I went to see Johnny Depp shambling around the Caribbean for my tenth birthday. Their appeal since has skyrocketed. This was in 2003, several films have followed and millions of dollars made off the back of pirates. Tragically however videogames based around swashbuckling have been few and far between.

The light on the horizon during this dark time however was Assassins Creed: Black Flag. Released in 2013,  the game showed how fun sailing around as a degenerate, drinking, coin obsessed pirate could really be. It was so fun that is regarded by many (including myself) to be the best Assassins Creed game to date.

What followed was a slurry of announcements for games based around sailing the seas. One of these was Sea of Thieves. You may know that I work at sea, so to get me as excited as I was by the prospect of spending more time on a ship (in a game) is amazing. I immediately warmed to the games art style, design tenants and the larger world at play. 

However it wasn't until this year that I truly 'played' Sea of Thieves. That is, with a friend. Such as to say 2020 is the perfect time to jump into the game with its recent Steam release. Here's why. 

The Sandiest Sandbox

The appeal of this game lies in the freedom your are given to go out and do whatever you please. There are no set objectives per say. Other than to make gold. This is done by killing famous skeletons, finding buried treasure or delivering different goods; there's always fun to be had. But the real fun is waiting for other people to do these, then taking their hard earned loot. You are pirates after all.

Be prepared to lose a lot of your loot,  you'll enjoy it a lot more that way. In my eyes is to play Sea of Thieves with friends is to play it as was designed to be played. Something I found easy once I realised there was cross play with Xbox players. You'll get drunk, play music, rob strongholds, kill skellies and be attacked by monsters. All in a single session probably.

 

The level of fun to be had with friends here surpasses any game in recent memory. You come out of Sea of Thieves with stories that stick with you, every single time you boot it up. Tales you and your friends will laugh about weeks later. 

Pretty Paradise

One of the most memorable and endearing things about Sea of Thieves is how it looks. The art style fits so well with the pirate theme, its almost like a theme park ride, ironic really. The aesthetics immerse you in the world with ease. 

The sea itself is one of the most impressive technological feats Ive ever seen in a game. Water is notoriously difficult to get right in the pixilated realm. So the fact that it looks so good here should be praised highly. It really brings the game to life and makes sailing a joy from start to finish. 

Each location on the sea looks characterful, fleshed out and unique. This makes exploring them endlessly rewarding, even on repeat visits. There are beautiful vistas everywhere you look. Due to the lighting, shadows, particle effects and dynamic weather working in unison perfectly. Honestly its worth the price just for quality desktop wallpapers you'll get out of it. 

Vanity Simulator

I mentioned previously that pirates rob people. And they do. But the real reason anyone becomes a pirate, is the pursuit of being a walking status symbol. Lavishing yourself in expensive clothes and gadgets. To eventually sail around in a rust entrenched, solid gold rowboat. To this end the customisation options on the sea are almost endless.

There is so much that you can truly make your avatar your own. And its both endlessly entertaining and motivating to do so. You will be constantly setting sail in search of the next set of over the top cannons or a glow in the dark compass. Its often the only extrinsic form of motivation to play the game, but id be lying if I said it needed any other. 

Finding a vault full of treasure will have your eyes glinting with the thought of that new fancy hat. Bling Bling. 

Conclusion

This game is fun, ludicrously fun. Its a joy to play with friends, difficult on your own but always rewarding either way. You will come away from it with tales of varying degrees of success but always with a laugh. And that is what games are about, surely. Its never been more accessible thanks to its Steam release recently either. 

Sea of Thieves is available on Xbox One & PC (Microsoft Store and now Steam)

GO BUY IT !!!

Whatculture.com published my article showing the 10 ways Outer Wilds will blow your mind.

https://whatculture.com/gaming/10-things-in-outer-wilds-that-will-blow-your-mind

A Recommendation: Rayman Legends; The Rock And Roll Platformer

I, like many other recently have just put down Ori and The Will of the Wisps a game that has struck a chord with many gamers and reviewers in the industry. I myself loved the game; its atmosphere, story and art style were fantastic. So today I find myself thinking that this game could be used ironically as a platform to catapult people onto an older game; a game I regard as simultaneously the most fun, and rock and roll platformer in history Rayman: Legends. I hold this view because I have two great loves in the world, videogames and music; something that this game melds together perfectly. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

It’s the late 1990’s and platformers are the kings of the pixelated realm. Rayman would be born out of this trend.  The original game was very difficult and deceptively cutesy. But it was even more difficult for a 6-year-old me that hadn’t figured out what a memory card was and had to restart the game from the beginning; every time I turned the console off… EVERY TIME! But thankfully playing Rayman Legends many years later is the perfect kind of challenge. One that has some unbelievable rewards for playing that warrant screaming about; so here I am screaming; if you love platformers you owe it to yourself to play it.

A Fun Time for All

 

The whole game has a feel that evokes memories of being a kid again; playing videogames just for fun. You know before you grew up and rebranded slaughtering countless, nameless, endlessly detailed NPC’s with peashooters as fun. Its levels are ingeniously designed; have a boundless sense of character to them and they are so varied that your attention will never waver. New mechanics are constantly introduced and they see intuitive use as the levels become more complex. By the end of the game some of the things you’ll be doing will seem way more complicated than the game makes being awesome feel. Its deceptively simple.

Rhythm and Moves

 

The sense of rhythm that is strewn throughout the game is what makes it unique. If your good at platformers then you will get endless fun from using the games peerless traversal system. The level can be played slowly if you’re in habit of killing yourself in games way too often like me. Or fast if you have any semblance of skill at games at all. The latter I imagine would be exhilarating here, if only I could do it.  Everything in the levels is placed in such a way to give the feeling of conjoined stepping stones to the end of the level; only in the style of ninja warrior. You can expect the game to throw anything and everything at you; particularly in the latter levels. All in all on most occasions I was disappointed to see the end of the level in sight because of the fluidity of their construction on show.

Colour It Impressive

 
I should mention as well the game is just fun to look at. Each of the games five chapters are distinct and have their own unique aesthetics; all of which are bursting with vibrant colours and are populated by weird and wonderful baddies to punch; squash and avoid. My particular favourites were the levels steeped in a cartoonish Greek mythology lacquer. The hand drawn feel to everything makes each level burst off the screen and means the game looks as good today as it did on release.

The Rock and Roll Platformer 

Now for the cherry on the cake. In the final level of each chapter the game takes a popular music genre; be it rock, mariachi, surf guitar or metal and waits to treat you. The first time you hear a riff heavy rock song adapted and stretched across one of its levels you will be left speechless. It is the best mix of music and pure gaming I have ever seen. You will struggle to wash the smile from your face during it and you’ll pray for it not to stop. It is awesome. Its so good that they are worth the price of the game on their own; and I’m amazed there hasn’t been a game entirely built around this idea since.

Conclusion

This is the first time I have smiled all the way through a game. It was a blast to play form start to finish and the musical levels are so impressive that I can’t recommend playing the game enough. Particularly in this time of lockdown and social troubles. You will not regret it. 

The game is available on PC, Xbox One and PlayStation 4

Go buy it !!

A Recommendation- Outer Wilds

Remember the terrifying Y2K? it was a torrid time. Back when Noah was busy knocking up an ark for the animals to hide in after God threatened to rid the earth of all the evil hard drives. Electronics were to destroy all humans they said. In 2020 all we have is a standard, friendly neighbourhood, difficult to diagnose, widespread, easily transferable, deadly disease that forces you to wash your hands semi regularly. But never mind that, what did I play in the wake of surviving absolute certain death in the year 2000? I hear you ask. Well a game about a creepy moon crashing into the earth and wiping all life away of course.

Like I suspect it was for many others; The Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask was the first game I played involving a time loop. It’s a novel, easily graspable concept nowadays but back then I could not wrap my head around it at all. I mostly sat staring blankly at the screen confused. For one why Link was hiding more mask’s than a scooby doo villain. Secondly why every three days the moon came down to kiss Termina goodnight in the most literal manner possible. And thirdly why I was asked to repeat the whole thing over again every time. So, twenty years later when I recently watched a review for Outer Wilds and saw its core concept was a 22-minute time loop, I had a score to settle.

 

 

Apocalypse Wow

Avoiding all major spoilers, the game thrusts you into the space boots of a budding alien astronaut with four eyes but no glasses. He is part of his home planets clearly underfunded space program; one which aims to discover details of an ancient race of nomadic know it all’s. You are shown all the games basic mechanics and quirks before you clock in for the worlds least boring twenty-two-minute shift ever. Your happily dangerous job will take you across an entire, hand-built star system that contains several unique and interesting planets and moons. Thankfully none of which will try to headbutt you in this game. The design of the star system genuinely never wears thin and is a real joy to explore. The environments of the planets are nearly all incredibly tenuous and will attempt to kill you in a myriad of ways while always offering a rewarding challenge that’s fresh and different every time. Not only that the planets feel like spherical Rubiks cubes. Each development brings new characteristics, environmental storytelling and beautiful vistas. By the way the game is outstanding to look at thanks to a wonderful cartoonish art style and meticulous attention to detail given to absolutely everything in it.

 

22 degrees of freedom

 

The gameplay in Outer Wilds is simple but crucially fun and responsive. It feels like a vassal to tell the story of those nomads I mentioned earlier; which is the true star of the game. But all actions performed during gameplay feel grounded in the worlds your exploring and no element of gameplay is ever overused. Flying your wonderfully rickety space ship feels powerful but fragile at the same time; as it should when you look at how the ship’s put together; something that makes landing successfully feel like an achievement. The gameplay is not for everyone however; you won’t be ripping and tearing through these planets. Exploration and reading character dialog move the story forward and is what most of the game encompasses. However, if you approach it in the right way this one of the most engaging games in recent memory. The soundtrack is outstanding as well; in fact, I heavily suggest having it play in the background while in game. It just seems to fit any semblance of gameplay effortlessly. 

An impressively long, very short tale

Holy hell the story in this game is awesome. So awesome that it joined The Witcher 3 and Red Dead Redemption 2 on the tiny list of single player games that were engaging enough for me to complete in recent years. There is irony in it totally distracting me from the potential apocalypse on the horizon in the real world but I’m thankful nonetheless. Again, without spoilers it is just very well executed. The fact that this story is largely told through text boxes does nothing to hinder the emotional and thematical impact of the plight of the races involved. Given that most games can’t achieve this with fully voice acted characters I believe it’s a huge achievement. That said the cast of your home planet could do with some fleshing out; possibly in the form of further conversation upon discoveries; just to make it seem more valuable to the universes most dangerous space program.

 

Conclusion

I love time loop games now. All thanks to how Mobius Digital tell a very emotional story here, one with a brilliantly devised conclusion. All while building a fun and unique looking solar system to explore. One that is all based on physics of the real solar system; scaled down. It’s a very interesting game and one that should be a full priced release. Twenty pounds on Epic games is an absolute steal and they deserve your money.

 

GO BUY IT !!!!!

 

 

Rockstar Realism: Key to Great Games

Its been a whole 12 months of pain and suffering since I completed Red Dead Redemption 2 for the first time on console. Ive been wanting to replay it recently so I purchased it on steam, read reviews and impressions while generally getting very excited about finally playing it on PC.

Since then I have begun playing and it’s a blast as ever helping the Van de-generate gang flee from the law.  When researching the game a few weeks earlier; amidst a plethora of highly complementary reviews & impressions I found a worrying undercurrent of apparent tedium being voiced by some of the gaming community. It regards some aspects of gameplay that were less than ideal in the eyes of these gamers and seen as a waste of time. Some of their complaints included having to cock your weapon before shooting; as per real life. A fast travel system that works to connect the world while simultaneously encouraging exploring it and many other ‘menial’ but very believable tasks such as cleaning, leading or hitching horses, bathing, purchasing items in real time, keeping your weapons tied to your horse. I could go on.

Secretly I harbour a dislike for these people and I believe they are wrong. They are those that Amazon Prime and online food shopping have destroyed. Their attention spans unable to stretch beyond the length of a Tik Tok video; they are left seemingly unable to enjoy any cultural phenomena at all.

That sounds like an extreme condemnation; and it is. But it is unbelievable to me that a company as influential as Rockstar Games are not being praised for their commitment to realism. Which in turn creates a palpable sense of place, presence and identity in their games. Every iteration from Rockstar pushes the world which the game inhabits to sell a place and frequently to resounding success. I believe this is due to a reluctance to remove features unless justified. Focusing instead building on what came before; it sounds obvious but the lessons learned in prior games are always expanded on by Rockstar. Large companies are much less willing to put this kind of effort into selling places these days. It’s much easier selling haircuts, weapon skins and other shit.

For comparison Bethesda who are an equally successful company have spent the last 12 years removing any semblance of identity from their games; at a rate that would make any plastic surgeon blush. The Elder Scrolls for example (a series I loved) under the watchful eye of Godd Howard is a victim of their worrying commitment to streamlining experiences. One so strong that pretty soon you’re Argonian mage will kill the final boss when he/she is birthed by it.

Challenging Change 

I challenge anyone to find a fun or immersive feature in the first Red Dead game that isn’t present in Red Dead Redemption 2. Then go download Elder Scrolls 2: Daggerfall and compare it to Skyrim in the same way; the problem with the industry is very evident.

In my opinion Rockstar Games deserve great credit for how they make games; they take on board what works and what doesn’t. They never remove features without serious consideration. And their games are better for it.

Ports to PC’s could use occasional work though 😉 

Thanks Rockstar Games; awesome work.

A Recommendation- Total War Warhammer 1 & 2

It’s 2003 and I’m wrapping up my career as a horrible child to embark on my adventure as a horrible teenager. Upon arrival home one day I switch on teatime television. Against my wishes the clever TV boffins grab me with ‘Time Commanders’. An analytical show on the strategies used on real battlefields throughout history. Although the show was very historical in nature it wasn’t this that grabbed my attention; what did was a battle simulation program in which the show acted out hypothetical battles using computers. This blew my tiny child mind. Even more so when I realised this ‘simulation’ was Rome: Total War- a game I could actually buy; and would, in ASDA (other stores are available) sometime after.

Years of playing on very low settings on a bulky, broken desktop eventually faded away. I stopped playing Rome and PC games in general for years for lack of money. But then the advent of YouTube and my employment. This would lead to accessing games coverage at any time where previously I was used to trawling barren TV schedules for information or expensive magazines (three weeks pocket money). I would watch hours of lets plays; in particular battles in the numerous games in the total war series. After months I decided to build a PC in order to play the newest total war game; Shogun 2. And here I am. I’m as awful as ever at games and if anything, less capable of commanding armies with a PC that can run these games no problem. But I’m here to tell you that Total War + Warhammer = many happiness points. 

Deep Seeded Winds of Magic 

In case you’ve returned to living under that filthy rock of yours; the total war games are split down the middle. Half grand strategy half battle simulation. You take command of a faction with unique units and cities and try to last longer than the rest. In the Total War Warhammer games specifically, you’re flung into a richly detailed and nuanced map based off of the world created by Games Workshop. You know that shop you wish you could go into but can’t for lack of a Slipknot t-shirt. In Warhammer 2 the firsts games map was available to play in the Mortal Empire’s mode; this involves several factions fighting for dominance of the new and old world. Each faction is genuinely unique to play; some prefer certain terrain, or have a strength in their army such as artillery. Some others play differently with the introduction of horde factions.   These are the bane of the world; walking the wilds destroying and pillaging; its very fun. The DLC factions also add spins on the formula to amass a plethora of options for different experiences when playing.

On the campaign map you will use power and influence to make allies and move on enemies all before you are either crowned king of the world or stabbed in the ribs by a humanoid rat. It is very satisfying to see the map turn your colour; and you feel like your fronting a crusade and eradicating the lesser races from the world; erm yeah so, the Scaven aren’t my favourite faction.

The campaign – particularly mortal empires will hold your attention for weeks and you will have a truly unique experience each time.  

Totally Fantastic Battle Simulator

For me however the battles are what makes total war. Since Shogun 2 I’ve played hours of online battles and I have even regularly watched replays just for fun. Both are even more enjoyable in the new fantasy setting. I swear watching lowly peasants unwillingly act in the next Jurassic park movie never gets boring. The UI has been overhauled and is intuitive beyond any previous game; it makes for an easy time organising your ranks and carrying out battle plans. The detailing on the units, landscapes and castles is fantastic; it really sells the scale of the world your fighting over and allows for the impressive unit limit to shine. You can have hundreds of individual soldiers on screen at any one time. You will indefinitely be neglecting your responsibilities as a commander just to watch catapulted goblins soar through the sky to smash onto the unsuspecting head of a frankly careless zombie. The battles are a perfect mixture of absolute chaos and player limited strategy; your as good at these battles as you allow yourself to be; use spears for horses; swords for spears until your enemy has nothing to do except buy his own Slipknot shirt and make the shameful wander back to the home of Warhammer itself.

Playing good commanders shows one how to play this game; the skill ceiling is limitless so long as you get your men into the right battles on a large scale. Pick your fights and know when to sprint for a terrain advantage; or when offense is the best form of defence. Online can be hard but it is endlessly rewarding. The campaign battles are a fun time too for those who are more casual with their engagements.

Conclusion

Both of the Warhammer Total War games are fantastic and are worth buying together for Mortal empires mode; you will genuinely have a blast with these games. If the choice is forced upon you however; by way of not being allotted bags and bags of money each month then buy Warhammer 2 first.

Go Buy them now !!!

A Recommendation- Hunt: Showdown

First person shooters are the bane of my life; on one hand they are some of the most fun and action packed experiences in gaming. On the other they are overly competitive and full of people claiming they have had sex with you're mum; something she's definitely used to. Seriously you should do something about her reputation online. The competitiveness of shooters means as a highly unskilled pleb of the lowest calibre; I myself live eternally on the bottom rung of leader boards. Sporting a K/D ratio unfathomable to mathematics. I'm as such,  somewhat disadvantaged when playing them.

So when a game comes along that makes me endure these many constant pummelling's from all directions much like your mum does; its often a very impressive game. And 'Hunt: Showdown' is one of those games.

A Frankenstein-esque Shooty Pew Pew Experience

The last decade has played host to numerous iterations and deviations from the typical FPS formula. We've had isometric team shooters, arcade shooters, military sims, iron man hybrids all along with countless other types. Most especially however we have had battle royales. The latter is where 'Hunt' has cut its teeth primarily; borrowing lightly from all of most popular 'fall out of an aircraft and try not to die' games around; but its core comes from further back. Indeed it does tout a roster of cosmetic characters and slightly less initiative ping system in hue of Apex Legends but critically its responsive and gutsy shooting mechanics feel crowbarred from a Battlefield game; and as such feels great to play.

DayZ; the famous Arma 2 mod turned standalone has clearly heavily influenced a lot of the more tense aspects of the game. Permanent character death and sprawling maps as well as a deeply creepy atmosphere all feel very reminiscent of my time providing free bandages and Makarov pistols to absolutely everyone who fired at me in Cherno. In a similar vein it is very tense; the sound design coupled with being shot at by other players can often leave you shell shocked suffering PTSD. Its not for the feint hearted.

Peak Performer

The game performs well too; I have some very negative experiences with some of the games contemporaries as a result of slow CPU issues; details loading in slowly or poor network reception or even jittering in game; things that got me killed unfairly more than once over the years. I accept that some of it was my own fault; however they were all experienced by others. Hunt Showdown however runs very well and is very engaging throughout. If I died it was always my fault.

Powerful PC's will be needed to run it at its highest settings however.

Hiding from the Horrors and War

The game tasks the player with teaming up or soloing into one of two richly detailed and beautiful maps to kill any one of 3 powerful monsters worth lots of experience and in game currency; which will lead to weapons, perks and in general a better character; until your killed and have to start again. There will be as many as 12 players in the map at anyone time; looking to kill said monsters and make off with the bounty; and therefore reward.

In order to find the rewards; clues will lead you to a gradually shrinking area; not restrictive as in other recent games but more for reference; where your prey lurk; but also the other ill fated players wander- so watch your back.

Conclusion

I have scarcely played a shooter more exhilarating and bone-crushingly tense before this; it is a blast for those who like hardcore, risk reward shooters; or even those who are tired of the staples of the genre at the moment- you will absolutely love it.

Oh there are in game purchases too; just in case you happen to be ten years old and want a reason to steal your fathers credit card; you will make his cocaine taking much less convenient... two winners

GO BUY IT !!!

A Recommendation- Hitman (2016)

Now its probably best to say here that I *cough* have not yet played 2018's Hitman 2. A sad state of affairs;  but as much as I would've liked to have spent the last two years in a darkened room living my fantasies; just like your mum has. I couldn't. I have been working overseas and for one reason or another I've always had something else to play, watch or read. 

In particular 'The EA-sy Street; The Recycled Videogame'. A mythical creature, new IP and irony simulator from EA games. One that's storming the market currently; or at least it could be if I hadn't just made it up while staring into the lifeless eyes of an IGN presenter on my computer screen. 

Anyway; Hitman 2 is a strange amalgamation of both IO's most recent outings. Hitman (2016) is the game I have played. it is contained within Hitman 2 however and the levels are improved upon and so it is the way I recommend you play. Download HITMAN 2 on steam and play it through there once you've bought it. 

PS I will get around to playing the second one now that I'm home.

47 Years Ago:

Loading up Hitman 2: Silent Assassin for the first time when I was a kid on my very incapable PC was an almost orgasmic experience for my tiny child mind. It was simultaneously the first time I had seen violence in videogames and the hilarity of ragdoll physics. A real eureka moment. As a young boy it was so awesome I went to school shouting from a top the nearest pile of text books about how I wanted to go bald and become a part time postman. Something my teachers actually thought I was capable of for once. 

And thanks to this most recent addition to the series I want to do the same today; even if I'm much less enthusiastic about going bald.

Sandbox Stealth Killer:

Each mission in the game is a meticulously thought out death trap; teeming with opportunities for hilarity and devious death dealing. As always the missions are the real stars of the game; one particular stand out for me was a trip to Morocco; it was a crowded, loud and varied setting which amazed me with its intricate detailing and excited atmosphere. The level designers at IO have really outdone themselves. Whether its the aforementioned shisha soaked streets of Morocco or a technically revered Bond-villain-esque hospital in the Japanese mountains; they really nail their intentions... to your forehead. 

The variety of settings give a real globetrotting feel throughout its potentially short or long campaign. I spent around 40 hours playing; gaining all the mastery ranks for each level before moving on. Something that gave me access to some very fun toys in the later levels and I promote the idea of doing that.

Options for Obituaries: 

Our anti hero has always explored his options and dramatic ideas when coming up with methods for disposing of his often depraved, despicable and down right dim quarry. But enough about my evangelical view of yourself. 47 can get very creative in this game. Knives; guns; piano wire all return. But Dianna also kindly suggests pirate cannons, plane crashes, electrocution, crushing, robot induced surgery fuck ups, heart hiding and even sniper rifle 2 for 1's. And that's not in the way your tiny call of duty addict brain thinks of it either. 

The assassinations are indeed more fun than they've ever been; the sheer amount of options crammed into he beautifully designed levels are what makes this game great. 

Conclusion:

Go buy it; via Hitman 2; actually buy both; I'm going to store with you now. I'm waiting outside... look !!